Miracles do happen

[kent]

My (now) wife fought leukemia for nearly 5 years before we got together. Time and again she was told by her oncos and gynos that she would never be able to have another child. She had been through several rounds of chemo, was on depo-privera (sp?) and had one and a half ovaries removed. But she got pregnant!

Somehow, through all the chemo, one septic shock, 3 resuscitations and being told she was chemo resistant with 2 to 8 weeks to live, she refused to get the recommended abortion and was able to carry the baby to viability. It is not easy - she is the bravest person I have ever known in my life.

The baby was born at 27 weeks by emergency c-section and weighed 15 ounces. She is the smallest baby born at that hospital to survive - and she was born addicted to morphine and suffering from the same chemo that nearly killed her mother (see "Our Story"). She spent over 4 1/2 months in the N.I.C.U. but she is doing fine today - just very small.

My wife will likely never recover. She has numerous "quality of life" issues so I am left to care for her, her 7 year old daughter, and our now 15 month old baby. Those few people around us (who have never been through something like this) constantly nag at me to do more with the 7 year old, constantly nag at me to do more with the baby. My wife's doctors constantly nag at me to do more with my wife. I CAN'T WIN! There aren't enough hours in the day to satisfy everyone. I try to tell them it is impossible for the children to have "normal" lives but they think I am being lazy. I can't leave my wife alone. With all the medical expenses I cannot afford to take the kids to fun places. With all the germs out there waiting to infect my immuno-suppressed wife it is dangerous to take the kids to most places they want to go even if I could afford it. Nobody around me understands or agrees with me, so I am being labeled a poor father. The criticism can quickly turn into humiliation as one person, my pastor's wife, called social services on us complaining the 7 year old wasn't getting enough "stimulation" (she wants for no toy). We have no help from family.

My confused and frustrated advice: If you know you have a good, understanding support system from reliable people then go ahead and don't fear having a baby under these awful circumstances. If you don't, be prepared for a lot of criticism from people who don't understand.

[JBaker]

Remember the old 80's bumper sticker of "Stuff happens!" very applicable to life isn't it?

Jim

[Jay]

That's an incredible story. I'm glad to hear that your daughter is doing well.

My wife was diagnosed with A.L.L. earlier this year while at 6 months pregnant as a result of a standard blood test. She had been tired lately, but otherwise wasn't really showing any symptoms, however her levels were apparently pretty high. For the first 48 hours her doctors didn't know what to do and we were told we would have to make some tough choices. In the end, they decided to begin treatment with the baby and she was able to carry our son to 32 weeks. He'll be 3 months old tomorrow and is doing very well!

Here's our full story: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=5385

[kent]

Wow! Jay!

That's good to hear your son is doing well. Sometimes my wife and I feel like we are the only ones "out there" that have been through leukemia and pregnancy at the same time. It's nice to know it is possible the baby can live. We need to tell people so they can know there is hope.

How is your wife doing? How are you doing? How have you arranged for child care?

-Kent

[Jay]

Wow! Jay!

That's good to hear your son is doing well. Sometimes my wife and I feel like we are the only ones "out there" that have been through leukemia and pregnancy at the same time. It's nice to know it is possible the baby can live. We need to tell people so they can know there is hope.

Agreed. We had a good team of doctors that were watching out for both my wife and the baby. They spent long hours calling different national cancer centers trying to reach a good consensus for treatment and thankfully were able to reach a solution that was safe for baby and saved my wife's life. Here's an interesting youtube video speaking of success in treating pregnant women with Leukemia... from Russia. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUKXM0dKzsU

How is your wife doing? How are you doing? How have you arranged for child care?

Wife is actually doing pretty well. She underwent a MUD SCT back in December and is recovering very well. She just had her first post transplant marrow biopsy and the initial results are clean (still waiting on full results). She went into full remission (including PH+) prior to transplant and we're praying it stays that way.

I'm doing better than I would have ever expected dealing with something like this. It's our second cancer, the first being an oral cancer 4 years ago that seems pathetic compared to this. That being said, I sunk into depression during that ordeal. So far I'm handling this one pretty well thanks to prayer, support from family, my "cancer buddies", and a healthy dose of blogging, which I find rather therapeutic.

I stayed behind to take care of our two kids, while my wife recovers from her SCT in an apartment 300 miles away. It's been tough, but fortunately I have local family which has stepped in to take care of my little one while I'm at work and my 4 year old is in preschool.