Courtney -- I've been wrestling with this same issue myself for 4 years ... am I just selfish to want a baby? Could I do it if my husband doesn't survive? The thing is, the answer is different for everyone. I've had people say horrible things about what they would do "if they were me," but you know what? No one knows until they've walked in your shoes. I'm turning 30 this month and I think not moving forward with IVF with our banked sperm 2-3 years ago will be my biggest regret. My husband is not doing well now - but he's still here, despite the odds - and there is plenty of quality in our life still. And if we had just taken the leap, we could have a 2 year old now!
The thing is, no one's path is guaranteed. My sister-in-law, in telling me how awful I was for wanting a child, kept saying things like "I could never do this to my son" and "every child deserves two parents." Well, be that as it may, her husband could die before mine, and frankly, at least we can prepare for it. I think one wonderful parent is better than most kids have, and I've spoked to PLENTY of kids who are adults now and lived through this experience and they have nothing but wonderful things to say about being brought into the world. So go with your heart.
My husband Todd, 30, is battling metastatic osteosarcoma