When to go to hospice?

[MB_SPOUSE_ACC]

How do you know when the time is right for hospice? Thanks.

[mherynk]

We waited too long. Hospice was only with us for about a week and a half before Kara passed. they had some good pain meds and household aids. But be prepared to know the end is near. It becomes very real when some of the things happen.

[JBaker]

For us hospice helped us for 3-4 weeks. Thee oncologist office set it up for us when the Dr said it was time to stop treatment.

For what I gather from reading your multiple posts in the last couple of days it sounds as though you unfortunately are getting near. Sorry! It is a bitter pill to swallow, but we all know the potential is there.

Hospice is available for a lot and all you need to do is ask for it. I asked for some food (dinner for our boys) so I would be eased off one chore and was overwhelmed by offers of their volunteers. Again ask for it and they can probably provide someone to help out. For me it also gave me someone to talk face to face to and gripe about in-laws and life in general that was not judging nor did I have to worry about it coming back to slap me in the face later. It helped as a stress reliever.

Always ask the Dr's for their opinion as to when time is apropriate to ask for hospice. The Dr's will know when the time has come.

Jim

[bksratliff]

Call hospice and ask them to come out to your house and do an evaluation on your husband. They are very kind and truthful and will tell you whether or not you are ready. The experience that I had with meeting them was that they informed us we are not there yet...my husband is in a new clinical trial so while he is under going treatment he is not eligible, Hospice is for 'comfort care' at the end of the journey. Someone posted a comment to my question that there are 'open' hospice centers that will take patients even if they are currently being treated...I have not found one but that does not mean there is not one in your area. Ask the nurse or the hospice representative. Also ask you husband's treating doctor's nurse for advice as well. There may be other resources available if hospice is not an option right now.

Keep asking for help/information, but most of all trust your inner voice. As much as it is uncomfortable it will always lead you in the right direction. I made the calls and feel much better knowing that I have met people that will help me when the time comes. It also makes it a little easier knowing you are not alone in this.

Be strong and trust yourself, you are a beautiful person who is loving and caring. It will be OK, just try to get through it.

love and blessings,

[kj]

Just to add to what Karyn said, the hospices that will take a patient still undergoing active treatment are called "open access". It involves a team associated with the hospice evaluating the treatment and agreeing that it makes sense, so it isn't as easy to remain on treatment, but it does happen.

I think they are few and far between, but I can tell you that Beth Israel in New York City has one, and that it was very helpful for my husband in dealing with the twin problems of keeping hope but preparing for the worst.

Hugs to you,
Krista